just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
We left an ass print on the piano.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Randomize
