So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
