Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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