The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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