I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Randomize
