Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
love makes seman taste better
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize
