he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Randomize