there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
please don't ironically join a cult
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