My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
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