In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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