just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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