I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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