Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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