[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
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I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
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I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
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