I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
Randomize