YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Randomize
