OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
