We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
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