Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
Randomize
