My hand turned me down
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
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