Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
