I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Randomize
