So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
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