careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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