HIV tests are more positive than that guy
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize
