Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
My ass is underappreciated
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
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