You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
