I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
