We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
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