The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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