Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Randomize