Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
