U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Randomize
