I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
