I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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