She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize