if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
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