you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Randomize
