Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
