We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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