If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
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