Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
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