Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
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