Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Randomize
