perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Randomize
