Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
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once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
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he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
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