I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
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She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
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I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
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