Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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