In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
Randomize
