Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
Randomize
