i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
