My balls are so social today.
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
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