if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
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