You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Randomize
