You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize
