Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Randomize