I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
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