and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
She bit a glass in half.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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