oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
