she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
Randomize
