is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
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